How to Help Children & Teens Organize

Note: These are notes from a video I did last spring. As uncertainties continue and parents and children face more changes, it seems important to share.

In light of COVID-19 shutting down schools around the country, I know many of you have been with your children 24/7. While it can be really fun and lovely, it can also be tough to balance your own work, your children’s schoolwork, and all of the other things that come with having a healthy and happy home

I very intentionally chose to be with my children 24/7 when they were young. I loved it, and it was still exhausting. I want to acknowledge your hard work and send you lots of love, blessings, and support, because I know it's not easy!

In response to requests from overwhelmed parents I want to address the matter of getting your children organized. Whether it’s teaching them home organization skills or just helping them organize their room, these are really important skills for them to learn. Although it takes time to teach little ones to organize, it will ultimately make your life and their lives easier!

Organizing through different life stagesThere are different schools of thought when it comes to organizing with children, and some of them are based on where the child is, developmentally. I like to simplify it into three categories: finds, friends, and future. 

Finds 
Infants, toddlers and preschoolers are just starting to discover and experience things. When they’re really little, they find things and put them in their mouths – so the home needs to be organized for safety.

As they get a little bit older, they start to move around inside as well as outside. They find things that interest them, and some of those treasures need a place to be organized as well.

Also in this stage, children learn by watching and imitating. They learn by being with you and seeing how you organize the belongings in the home. Are you rushed and hurried and leaving things anywhere, or can you easily put things away? 

So, besides finding new items, children also find out how we operate. We set an example for children - even before they're walking - of how we treat things and how we do our work. When we allow them to engage with us in taking care of the house in a really joyful way, we give them the message that it's a happy experience! 

So, what can you do to get them actively participating? Design systems around the house that are accessible to a small child. Maybe you have a lower cabinet with their cups and plates tand can help them learn to put dishes away. Perhaps you can put a stool next to you and let them join you in washing dishes. Small children naturally enjoy meaningful work; they want to help!

Friends
As children get older a lot of their life is focused on friends and feelings. They start to realize that other people feel differently about things than they do, and they also start to increase their circle of friends.

As they start to show interests in new things and hobbies, it’s helpful to find out what's important to them and help them develop a way to organize their belongings as well as materials for their new activities. It will also make all the difference if they have a well-organized space they are proud to have their friends in.

In the “friends” stage, it is also important for children to learn how to organize their time so they can more easily participate in hobbies and activities. Maybe you’ll want to teach them that once they get their room organized, they can hang out with their friends. This way, if they keep the room organized, they’ll always have more time for activities they choose. 

Future
The teen years can be really tough for children. It’s probably the only time in their lives they are expected to be good at everything: get good grades, have some friends, be involved in extracurricular activities, start building a college resume, keep your room straight, help care for (or at least patient with) younger siblings, etc. There are so many things teens are responsible for and they can really start to feel that pressure of preparing for an independent future.

Having an organized home goes a long way towards decreasing stress while increasing productivity, peace of mind, and happiness. However, teens often need help understanding what's in it for them. Discuss what is expected of them in order for them to have the benefit of taking the car, hanging out with friends, etc. And if they need help remembering those precious days of early childhood, help them get back into the habit of spending a bit of time each day tidying; occasionally re-allocating space; regularly letting go of excess items and/or using containers to help stay organized. 

And as you do the same for yourself, may you and your family enjoy finding treasures, spending time with friends, and creating a peaceful, organized future.

photo by @shanthiraja

Pinky Jackson is a Professional Organizer who loves helping families release physical, mental and emotional clutter and live peaceful, organized and beautiful lives.