Compassion for Chronic Disorganization, Hoarding, and those Who Want to Help
I am often asked “do you work with hoarders?” Usually the person who asks has seen a TV show and is curious. By design, the drama of those shows brings out the worst in many people. And I am not interested in drama.
What I am interested in is responding with compassion, finding out if I can help, and offering suggestions if I cannot. The majority of my clients are not hoarders, though there are some who are chronically disorganized. Many are just situationally disorganized - they are welcoming a new baby, grieving a loss, adding a home office, downsizing or aging in place. And most are people who, like many of us, love to gather, decorate, and create beautiful spaces in their homes and need help getting those items edited and organized so they can lead lives of ease and beauty.
Hoarding is a complex and multi-layered issue that can deeply affect those involved, whether you're living with someone who may be struggling with it or you feel overwhelmed by your own clutter. My hope is to share some insights that might help you navigate this challenging situation with compassion and understanding.
The mental health, environmental, and hauling services needed to affect lasting change for those people with actual hoarding disorder are outstide of my scope of services. However, we do have team members trained in chronic disorganization. Depending upon the environment and client readiness, we do take on some chronically disorganized jobs each quarter. And, as part of our nonprofit work, we do iffer a limited number of consulations. My hope is to share some insights that might help you navigate this challenging situation with compassion and understanding.
If you are wanting to help yourself or someone you love, I would recommend seeking understand on what what hoarding is, what chronic vs. situational disorganization is, and when outstde help can be effective vs. potentially harmful. Years ago, hoarding was considered a part of OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder), but it has since been recognized as a separate condition. This distinction is crucial because it allows us to better understand and address the specific challenges that come with hoarding.
Two key traits often characterize hoarding:
Excessive Acquisition and Retention: People who hoard continually acquire and keep an excessive amount of belongings. These items often have little to no value to others, but they hold significant meaning to the individual. This could include things like expired food, washed-out containers, or stacks of old newspapers and magazines.
Inability to Use Spaces as Intended: In a home affected by hoarding, spaces often become unusable for their intended purposes. Walkways may be blocked, bathtubs filled with items, and dining tables so covered that they can no longer be used for meals.
Sometimes life events—transitions, traumas, or simply busyness—can lead to a cluttered home. It’s essential to understand that clutter often reflects what's happening internally.
If you’re living with someone whose clutter has become overwhelming, it’s important to approach the situation with empathy. Remember, not all clutter is hoarding, and understanding the difference can guide you in how to help.
One of the biggest mistakes we can make is rushing in to declutter someone else’s space without their buy-in. While it might feel good to clean up a space quickly, if the person isn’t ready, it can be more harmful than helpful. Respect and empathy are key.
Sometimes, the best way to help someone else is to start with your own belongings. It’s not about pointing fingers, but about modeling the behavior you hope to see. Take a step back, and objectively assess your own space. Is there a stack of mail you haven’t sorted through? Books you’ve been meaning to donate? Start by decluttering your own things. It’s a way to lead by example without judgment or pressure.
For those who are concerned about safety or more severe cases of hoarding, there are tools available, like the scale developed by the Institute for Chronic Disorganization. This tool can help you assess the environment (not judge the person) and give you the language you may need to seek help.
Above all, remember that this process is about love, patience, and empathy—both for yourself and for those you share your space with. Start by addressing your own belongings, and you may find that this inspires others to do the same.
If you need assistance, don't hesitate to reach out for help. Visit pinkyjackson.com to schedule a free assessment. We would love to help you with our Onsite Organizing services if you are in the Louisville, KY area or our Virtual Organizing services if you are more remote or prefer to work online.
Pinky Jackson is an Organizing Expert and Decluttering Specialist. She and her team organize homes & offices in Louisville, KY. For more information about Pinky’s pricing & services or to schedule your free assessment, go to pinkyjackson.com
Photo: Meghna R @darkandflawed
